Tuesday, March 3, 2015

THIS IS A TOUGH DECISION

There is one question, but it is very important!

Do not answer hastily or at random ! Think before responding . Answer honestly !
It is an imaginary situation in which you have to take a decision . Think you have to give a spontaneous and honest !
You are in the midst of a disaster, a flood proportions ... immeasurable amounts of water ... dams broken ... many people's lives in danger.
Are you a photographer for a large television and ... you are in the midst of unimaginable disaster .
The situation is borderline desperation ...
As a reporter , try to capture your most impressive .
About people , houses, animals are washed away ...
Nature groans showing forgiveness without power ... burned everything behind them.
Suddenly you see a man driving a JEEP ... fighting desperately not to be taken by the waves ... stay away ... you make a strong impression ... and suddenly you recognize : it is OBAMA , President !
Now realize that anger will swallow water it every moment ... forever ...
You have two options: to save it , or to " catch " snapshot of your life ! !
To save his life , or to take a picture that will bring you points Pulitzer ! !
A picture showing the disappearance of one of the most important people in the world ...
Now the question ( answer honestly ) :

Picture do color or black and white ? ?



                                                            photo credit: google.com
If you liked this post spread your joy  with others by simply SHARE (Pleeeeeeeease !!!)
                                                           HAVE A NICE DAY !

GREAT SELLER !

A young man moves to another town and goes to look for work at a large supermarket .
- Do you have any sales experience ? , Asks the director .
- Yes , replied the young man. I was home salesman .
After a long measuring eye, it seemed sympathetic director boy , deciding to give him a chance. End the interview was : " Well ... start work tomorrow . I'll come closing to see how you did . "
The first day was hard work , but our young surpassed . At closing time , head lowered and ...
- How many sales did you do today ?
- One single .
- Just one? ! Today you had a single customer ! Media our sales force is 20 or 30 per day . How big was the sale ?
- $ 101.265
- $ 101.265 ! But what you sold ? said the director .                                                            
- The first time I sold a small size fishing hook . The second time one environment. Then the big one. Then a rod equipped with a reel . I asked him where he was going fishing and he said, " the sea. " I said that's what he needs a boat , so we went to the boat department and I sold one dual motor Cris Craft . Then he said he did not think his car, a Honda Civic , you will have the strength to pull . So I went to the auto department and I sold a Pajero 4X4.
The manager was stunned : "Do you tell me that a guy who came here to buy a fishing hook and you sold him a boat and a car ?"

Young : " No, no ... he had come to buy a box of absorbent for his wife. And then I said ," Well since your weekend 's broken , it would be wiser to go to fishing? " .




                                                             photo credit: google.com
If you liked this post spread your joy  with others by simply SHARE (Pleeeeeeeease !!!)
                                                           HAVE A NICE DAY !

                                                             

FUNNY REPORT OF AN ACCIDENT

I am writing in response to your request to give you further details on Section 3 of the Report of an accident at work where I completed the question as "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked explicitly detailed explanations about the accident and I hope that the following details will be sufficient for clarifying.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a tall building of 6 floors.

After I 'm done , I realized that I had some bricks left over which when weighed later were weighing about 270 kg.

I thought that rather than carry the bricks down by hand , in several steps , it's better to go down all at once in a barrel by using a pulley installed for this purpose behind the building.

Consequently , I have provided the rope at ground level , I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks . Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks . You may notice in Section 11 of the Report of an accident at work that I have a weight of 72 kg.

Because surprise I had when I was literally ripped from the ground in a completely unexpected way , I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. I think there is no need to tell you because of the difference between my weight and the barrel filled with bricks, began a rapid ascent to the roof . Near the 3rd floor, I came across the barrel loaded with bricks that are now rapidly heading towards the ground after contact said I got his head broken collarbone minor scratches and tails, self-esteem and wrinkled .

Because of the impact , my ascent slowed for a few seconds then went quickly to the roof , pausing only when the right-hand fingers were caught in the pulley to the level of the three - the phalanges .

Fortunately, in the meantime, I regained presence of mind and I was able to get hold tightly to the rope in spite of the fact that I started to have pain . Almost simultaneously , the barrel of bricks hit the ground and therefore impact the bottom of the barrel broke. Now, freed from the weight of the bricks , the barrel weighed only 27 kg. In relation to my weight, as you probably already imagine, I began a rapid descent .

In the same vicinity 3rd floor, we met again , the barrel now up ; Following the meeting, I got ankle fracture and multiple cuts and abrasions to feet , and generally throughout the body.

Here my luck began to change significantly. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to easily fall just limit my emphasis injuries. When I fell on the pile of bricks , luckily, I got away with three cracked vertebrae .

Sorry to tell you , as I lay on the pile of bricks, with agonizing pain , unable to move, I again lost my presence of mind and escaped the rope by my hands. As I lay on the back, I could see how empty barrel began the journey down to me, explaining that contact with the two fractures in my feet.


I hope with all my heart that this report answers your questions about the case .




                                                                 photo credit: google.com 

If you liked this post spread your joy  with others by simply SHARE (Pleeeeeeeease !!!)
                                                           HAVE A NICE DAY !

REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY

My dear Parents ,

There are already 6 months to college and I have not written yet . I'm terribly sorry but I promise to make it up this time. But still preseeding to continue to read the letter , I would ask you to sit down. Under no circumstances do not continue to read the letter standing !

Burns me almost completely healed and I dropped slowly and shock that has caused me that I had to jump on the 4th floor . I stayed in the hospital only two weeks already see quite well , and vomiting that occurs only my terrible week.

Because the fire was caused by me, have to pay the university as £ 30 million in damages, but this is all nonsense , considering that I was alive.

My luck was that the man in the block across the street saw what happened and called the ambulance and fire department. He was the one who visited me in the hospital and after that , given that I had no place to stay ( my room was made ash ) was so kind to offer me to stay with him. Has a studio apartment with one room , but we understand very well .

He is twice as old as me , but we love very much ( and often) . We want to get married ! Since we have not decided when , but we want to have the wedding before it's too obvious that I am pregnant . It's true , my parents, I will be a mother soon!

I know I can not wait to be grandparents and I'm sure you will love babies (because they have triplets ) as much as me you loved me when I was little . The only thing that a wedding delay currently infection that affects him, my boyfriend . That's why we're back to the hospital because obviously, I infected myself , but already we feel better because we receive both intravenous antibiotics . Doctors call this disease syphilis or something ...

I know that you will get my husband with open arms and will soon become a true family member. It's a very nice man and , although not finished 8 grades , is very ambitious ! Has another religion like ours , but I know you will not bother tolerant and so the fact that his skin color has little darker than ours. Perhaps you will understand very well that, not least , and because it has an age close to yours , especially as we want to move home ( his studio is a little small for proper three children ) . His parents are some very good people , his father is really one of the most famous African traffickers !

Now that I told you all about, it is time to admit that I did not burn the house , so I have nothing , I was not even a day in the hospital , I have no specific syphilis and black fiance

The truth is that I have failed organic chemistry and math . I just wanted to be conscious of the fact that there are things in this world more lame than that.

Sweet kiss
 your daughter




                                                           photo credit: google.com
If you liked this post spread your joy  with others by simply SHARE (Pleeeeeeeease !!!)
                                                           HAVE A NICE DAY ! 






SUPPLY AND DEMAND

A young woman from New York wrote a financial site , asking advice on how to find a rich husband : already this one is fun, but the best part is what a guy answered .
SHE:
I am a beautiful girl ( more beautiful ) 28 years. I 'm really smart and class . I want to marry someone who earns minimum half a million dollars a year .
There is this site any man to win both ? Or wives of millionaires who can give me advice on this issue ? I already had relationships with men who earned 200 or 250 000 $ , but this does not allow me to live in Central Park West .
I know a lady who does yoga with me, who married a wealthy banker and lives in Tribeca , it's so beautiful like me and even so intelligent . So I wonder what she did to deserve this and I do not manage ? How can I get to her level ?
HE:
I read your e-mail with interest , I thought deeply about your case and we have developed a package of your situation will make sure you will not waste time as earning $ 500,000 per year. Clarify this, consider the facts in the following way:
What you give , seen from the perspective of a man like that that you are looking for is simply a very bad deal . And this for the following reasons :
Aside from blah,blah,blah, ….. , what you give is a very simple negotiation . You provide your physical beauty,  and I give my money. The proposal is very clear, but there is a small problem. Definitely, your beauty will diminish little by little and one day will vanish , while my bank account is likely to grow gradually.
So, in economic terms you are a depreciation asset suffer while I am an asset that produces dividends. You are not only subject to depreciation , but it is progressive .
Explain better : Your last you 28 years , you are beautiful and will continue to be for the next 5/10 years, but increasingly less. And someday , when you see a picture of your day you will realize that you have become prunes. This means , in terms of the market today are rated, ideal phase to be sold , not bought. Using a Wall Street language who will now have to be put in " trading position" position trade, not "buy and hold" (buy and hold ) , as apparently suggested. So in terms of trade , marriage ( "buy and hold" ) with you is not a good deal in the medium / long term. Instead , rent for a certain period may be even from a socially business wise and we could take into account ... We could have a relationship for a period ...............

Hmm ........... If I think about it and how to make sure you are an intelligent and beautiful class I , potential "client who rents " as a " car " , asking what is right : to make a test drive.
Please set the date and time .
Sincerely,

Your investor .




                                                             photo credit: google.com
If you liked this post spread your joy  with others by simply SHARE (Pleeeeeeeease !!!)
                                                           HAVE A NICE DAY !



THE HITCHHIKER

For a long time I thought that this story is a joke, but soon I found out that it is a fact, pal actually happened in a small town in Mexico.

A guy was doing hitchhiking on a road in a dark night and in the middle of a rain accompanied by strong winds .
Time passed and no car on the road, and the storm made not even see two steps in front of him.
Tired of rain, wet to the skin, almost in despair, the man starts to pray DIVINITY to help him endure and when they are desperate.

Immediately after finishing the prayer in a curve , located in the vicinity, appears a car run with a very low speed and stops in his right. Our guy, without analyzing the situation more, climb in the car.

Get in, sit down , and after closing the door and look for the drive, trying to thank for your kindness to stop, but ........... surprise sees nobody. The car starts to advance at the same speed, almost improbable, during which our guy already terrified, sitting glued to the chair without having the power to remove a word . And not long before the car appears a curve of the street. The guy starts to pray silently to escape life , but exactly when the car enters a curve, a hand appears through the window and rotate the wheel.

Type already paralyzed by fear , can not react and see how every time there is a curve , the hand appears through the window and rotate the wheel.                                                        

When he could no longer bear the tension, makes his courage and salt type of car , running to the nearest town.


Enter the first town meeting and get into a bar, and wet and frightened require two shots of tequila , and started telling terrible experience he went through . All remain in thoughts when they realize the guy crying and was not drunk .

After half an hour, the other two guys enter the bar, and one says to the other :
- Hey , Pepe , here's the moron who got in the car when we push it !


                                                             photo credit: google.com
If you liked this post spread your joy  with others by simply SHARE (Pleeeeeeeease !!!)
                                                           HAVE A NICE DAY !






TAKE THE BIGGEST TITS !

There was once a man who had three girlfriends, but he did not know which one to marry. So it was decided to give each one 5000 $,  to see how it spends each.

The first of these goes out and wears makeup very expensive. She has new clothes, rigged her hair, has done her manicure, pedicure, and then went to the man and says : "I spent the money to be nice for you because I love you so much".

The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a great TV and an electronic combine and gave it to the man. She said : "I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much."

The third take 5000 $ and invests it in stocks, doubles the amount, returns to the man all 5000 $ and reinvests the rest.
"I have invested rest of the money for our future because I love you so much", she said.


He thought much on how women acted  ... and decided to marry the one with the biggest tits  ...

(Remember: it's just a joke do not take it too hard)

                                                           photo credit: google.com
If you liked this post spread your joy  with others by simply SHARE (Pleeeeeeeease !!!)
                                                           HAVE A NICE DAY !